After years and years and years of examining this question, I think there is. It seems to me that the root of so many problems is one word: insensitivity.
Not being aware of the effect you have on others. Think about it. I like to think I have and I like to think it has changed me.
I’m not saying I am always nice. Quite the contrary. But if I am not, it is now because I have examined the situation deeply and decided you don’t deserve my approval. My negativity now is not accidental. It is a positive thing not an absence of something else.
Why am I writing this? I experienced two classic examples of insensitivity today. Once upon a time I’d tell you the details. But that would be insensitive.